so i thought i'd write to you all about lucid dreaming and how my meditating has gone recently.
even though they are both two completely different things, they seem to go hand-in-hand with me this week.
you see, usually i meditate in the morning. but recently i have been doing it just before i go to sleep. which seems to give me these crazy ass dreams! i can't figure out any other explanation for it, every time that i've had some freaky, creepy, scary, realistic dream - it's after i have meditated just before bed!
the first dream i had i can't remember so well anymore; me and my family (mother, brother, sister & step-father) were stuck in this concentration camp in the middle of the jungle with a bunch of other families. there were massive wire fences everywhere that seemed to touch the sky. and we were all trying to escape, but they KNEW we were trying to escape. and were setting horrible creatures on us for entertainment purposes. i only remember one of the creatures that was like a giant black snake, but had a huge head so i guess it was more like an enormous tadpole, but with razor sharp teeth and red eyes. it would go underground and i swear i could ACTUALLY feel the earth shake when it did.
the second night, now this dream is horrible..
i was in a dark, old house. it had like 7 floors. the wallpaper was red, but peeling off. everywhere was sticky and stained. i was trapped in there with a group of people. one of them was my ex - the one i don't like. i could actually SMELL in this dream. the house stank of rotten blood. everyone i was with refused to leave the room we were initially in. but me and my ex were determined to find a way out. as we go to leave the room someone whispers "don't go to the top floor - that's were HE is." we leave the room and end up in the entrance hall. the front door is locked, so we decide to go to the next floor to see if we can get out the window.
creeping up the stairs we look up and we can see all the levels of the house. including the top floor, where we can see the door is open a crack and a BRIIIGHT light is shining out of it. the door is open to the room on the first floor but we see a huge, fat, seeping dead body on the floor. we crawl up past him, trying to get to the window (which is as bright as the light on the top floor) but as we pass the body he moves! he rolls over and his skin breaks apart under the enormous weight that he is. white pussing intestines fall out of him, blood pouring everywhere but he is still trying to grab at us.
we leg it out of the door and run up the stairs. suddenly creatures are coming from all doors on all floors, every single one is leaking and spewing all over the place and the smell is becoming unbearable. we have no choice but to go up and up.. until we reach the top floor.
as we get there the door slowly opens and out of the light comes this giant disgusting being.
he's tall and boney, yellow and lumpy and pussy. he has holes and zits all over his body, each one leaking creamy blood and puss. his eyes were like red snake eyes, his nose was massive and bulbous, like it was full and heavy with snot. as he comes out of the door my ex freezes in his tracks surrenders instantly to him. and i think he eats him?! i can't remember but i am just legging it back down the stairs. all the other creatures are running as well and going back to their rooms. the house is falling apart/or burning down. as i get to the front door i throw myself at it and i fall through. but as i land so does this gross creature on top of me.
he has me pinned down and he RAPES me in the street in front of all the people who were trapped with me in the first place, including my ex. they all just stand over and watch.
TOLD YOU IT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE. i woke up crying from that one.
so last night i was so scared to go to sleep. but then you know when you're like "i bet it won't happen this time... i'm expecting it too much!"
well, guess again!
my final dream, i can't remember much of this one either. but it had the same feeling as the other two. like it felt REAL.
i had just finished work and met up with charlie and her step-mum to get in her car and ride home. but to get to the car we have to walk for ages. we walk through st. andrews park and suddenly i'm like WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY PANTS!!!? i can't stop itching and wriggling. i pull down my dungarees and pull out my y-fronts and i have this weird looking baby blue and white snake throwing itself around on me. i grab it and chuck it as far as i can. but then charlie starts screaming and she has the thin black snakes crawling all over her feet and up her legs.
we start running but i can't stop pulling snakes out of my pants. then we look around us and houses are being set on fire and there are lions running around attacking people and eating them. more giant snakes (again?) and bears are roaming the planet. as we get out of the park and back on the streets we realise people are running riot and there are loads of gangs of kids running around smashing cars and beating people with baseball bats.
thats when charlie turns to me and is like "YOU MUST WEAR ALL BLACK SO THEY CAN'T SEE YOU!"
and i look down and i'm wearing my fluorescent pink hoodie. so i go to hide behind a trash can but already a gang of kids have surrounded me. but then i wake up as they come towards me.
omgawssh! i have written way too much!! maybe i'll talk about lucid dreaming another time. but the real question right now is.. do i meditate before bed tonight? i haven't done it all day so i feel like i should....?
and on a completely different note: HERE, HAVE A PHOTO OF MY NIPPLEZ FROM NITELIFE MAGAZINE.
i'll post a better picture of it when i get my hands on a copy. but yeah, so that's what happens when i DJ.... everytime! which reminds me - i'm DJing at the next SEXY TIME without my charlie :'( so people best come and keep me company! i'll show you my boobies if you do ;) xxx
even though they are both two completely different things, they seem to go hand-in-hand with me this week.
you see, usually i meditate in the morning. but recently i have been doing it just before i go to sleep. which seems to give me these crazy ass dreams! i can't figure out any other explanation for it, every time that i've had some freaky, creepy, scary, realistic dream - it's after i have meditated just before bed!
the first dream i had i can't remember so well anymore; me and my family (mother, brother, sister & step-father) were stuck in this concentration camp in the middle of the jungle with a bunch of other families. there were massive wire fences everywhere that seemed to touch the sky. and we were all trying to escape, but they KNEW we were trying to escape. and were setting horrible creatures on us for entertainment purposes. i only remember one of the creatures that was like a giant black snake, but had a huge head so i guess it was more like an enormous tadpole, but with razor sharp teeth and red eyes. it would go underground and i swear i could ACTUALLY feel the earth shake when it did.
the second night, now this dream is horrible..
i was in a dark, old house. it had like 7 floors. the wallpaper was red, but peeling off. everywhere was sticky and stained. i was trapped in there with a group of people. one of them was my ex - the one i don't like. i could actually SMELL in this dream. the house stank of rotten blood. everyone i was with refused to leave the room we were initially in. but me and my ex were determined to find a way out. as we go to leave the room someone whispers "don't go to the top floor - that's were HE is." we leave the room and end up in the entrance hall. the front door is locked, so we decide to go to the next floor to see if we can get out the window.
creeping up the stairs we look up and we can see all the levels of the house. including the top floor, where we can see the door is open a crack and a BRIIIGHT light is shining out of it. the door is open to the room on the first floor but we see a huge, fat, seeping dead body on the floor. we crawl up past him, trying to get to the window (which is as bright as the light on the top floor) but as we pass the body he moves! he rolls over and his skin breaks apart under the enormous weight that he is. white pussing intestines fall out of him, blood pouring everywhere but he is still trying to grab at us.
we leg it out of the door and run up the stairs. suddenly creatures are coming from all doors on all floors, every single one is leaking and spewing all over the place and the smell is becoming unbearable. we have no choice but to go up and up.. until we reach the top floor.
as we get there the door slowly opens and out of the light comes this giant disgusting being.
he's tall and boney, yellow and lumpy and pussy. he has holes and zits all over his body, each one leaking creamy blood and puss. his eyes were like red snake eyes, his nose was massive and bulbous, like it was full and heavy with snot. as he comes out of the door my ex freezes in his tracks surrenders instantly to him. and i think he eats him?! i can't remember but i am just legging it back down the stairs. all the other creatures are running as well and going back to their rooms. the house is falling apart/or burning down. as i get to the front door i throw myself at it and i fall through. but as i land so does this gross creature on top of me.
he has me pinned down and he RAPES me in the street in front of all the people who were trapped with me in the first place, including my ex. they all just stand over and watch.
TOLD YOU IT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE. i woke up crying from that one.
so last night i was so scared to go to sleep. but then you know when you're like "i bet it won't happen this time... i'm expecting it too much!"
well, guess again!
my final dream, i can't remember much of this one either. but it had the same feeling as the other two. like it felt REAL.
i had just finished work and met up with charlie and her step-mum to get in her car and ride home. but to get to the car we have to walk for ages. we walk through st. andrews park and suddenly i'm like WHAT THE FUCK IS IN MY PANTS!!!? i can't stop itching and wriggling. i pull down my dungarees and pull out my y-fronts and i have this weird looking baby blue and white snake throwing itself around on me. i grab it and chuck it as far as i can. but then charlie starts screaming and she has the thin black snakes crawling all over her feet and up her legs.
we start running but i can't stop pulling snakes out of my pants. then we look around us and houses are being set on fire and there are lions running around attacking people and eating them. more giant snakes (again?) and bears are roaming the planet. as we get out of the park and back on the streets we realise people are running riot and there are loads of gangs of kids running around smashing cars and beating people with baseball bats.
thats when charlie turns to me and is like "YOU MUST WEAR ALL BLACK SO THEY CAN'T SEE YOU!"
and i look down and i'm wearing my fluorescent pink hoodie. so i go to hide behind a trash can but already a gang of kids have surrounded me. but then i wake up as they come towards me.
and on a completely different note: HERE, HAVE A PHOTO OF MY NIPPLEZ FROM NITELIFE MAGAZINE.
i'll post a better picture of it when i get my hands on a copy. but yeah, so that's what happens when i DJ.... everytime! which reminds me - i'm DJing at the next SEXY TIME without my charlie :'( so people best come and keep me company! i'll show you my boobies if you do ;) xxx
